Tenth Anniversary Poem
by Steve Wellman
Though I haven't seen much glory yet
As the club's self-proclaimed poet laureate
My humble ego was greatly enlarged
When I was approached by the one's in charge
Who ask of me if I would say
A word or two to you today
And since we're here to celebrate
I'm happy to accommodate
I asked myself "what should I say
To make this celebration gay
'Cause happy thoughts I wish to give
I don't want to be negative
So since discretion rules the day
There's quite a bit I cannot say
"Although it would be so inviting
To talk about the petty fighting
And bickering among the board
These things" I said "must be ignored
It should not be among my jobs
To criticize the level snobs
Or those who push like macho men
Or need a shower now and then
I will not bitch when it's my turn
About those who will never learn
Of thinks Advanced is not enough
When they can hardly get though Plus
I can cannot tell them what I think
Of that putrid shade of pink
At times it is a mystery
If I am dancing with a he or she
But it would fill my soul with dread
To talk of this to them" I said
"Whiner whining over money
Callers jokes that are not funny
And Gary's little indiscretion
That thing I would never mention
I'll have to button up my lip
For though its just a Mainstream tip
Regroup is the most common call
These things I won't bring up at all
The vicious rumors we hear so much
A subject I would not touch
I said to me "Do not project
An image that we won't respect
Like how on most Sunday's without fail
While pounding down ice teas on sale
We square up in a drunken trance
And fumble through another dance
A tip we've heard a dozen times
And we break down on 'bend the line'
I also said to me "You hush
About those friends of Mary Jane Rush
The new class starting in the fall
Is well attended I recall
They're checking out the brand new meat"
I said "Now that I can't repeat
The club's disease I cannot say
Is hepatitis B or A
And I won't even start to speak
About the cliques we see each week
And I won't even start to say
Our styling is an awful way
That we do 'Sides face grand square'
to grind an ax would not be fair"
But oh my how the tongues would wag
If I ignored our things in drag
And please forgive me if I quote
From something I already wrote
"The SheDevils without regret
Exude hair spray and body sweat"
But let's not look just at the smell
Each name starts with the letter 'L'
Each SheDevil is heaven sent
And cosmetically incontinent
Applying make-up till its gone
And drunken Leda on the lawn
And the Honky Tonk Queen, Oh, yes it's true
That they've produced not one but two
And both times how they made us proud
'Cause they weren't pulled out of the crowd
No, they were contestants in the show
Unlike a certain Hamm we know
Now all along we've all been told
That Chi-Town Squares is ten years old
But we were not members formally
In the IAGSDC
Until 1988
And so in closing I will state
Although it is inopportune
We're doing this one year too soon
So I propose we find a chair
And do this thing again next year